All Children Left Behind

Week 6 begins.

Sometimes I really, really, REALLY want to quit. It's hard. I'm tired. It's only mildly rewarding. And everything seems to be working against me and my children.

I knew it would be hard...but it is almost impossible to comprehend how hard all of this is. It's also very isolating to be in Gary and without any other TFA people at my school. I feel like a little, lost soul hanging out in the dunes.

We started state standardized testing today Right, the state in which I teach is ridiculous and has its state test in the fall. I don't know. We've been reviewing (aka learning for the first time) for the past 5 weeks. I have been working hard to get my kids as ready as they can for this test. On Thursday, at team level meeting they told us we would begin testing on Tuesday and test through Friday. Great, great. So, I planned some realaxation techniques, last minute test-taking strategies and an expert/novice activity to review for the test. Well, when I got into work today, I found out that 7th and 8th grades were starting TODAY. Yes. I had told my students Tuesday. I had not seen the materials. In fact, I wouldn't have known we were testing today if not for another teacher telling me. They made no announcement. My kids came in today ready to go to P.E. and found out they had to take two tests this morning. They were fucking pissed, and I didn't blame them. I was pissed. I hadn't brought in food, or soft music, or games--all the things I planned to do later in the week.

THEN, to make things worse, the administration came around with Reeses and Hershey bars before the first test. As if the students needed empty calories/sugar in the morning before testing. I was even more fucking pissed.

THEN, to make things even worse, the testing schedule looks like it was set-up by people who want our kids to fail. Really. Tomorrow they are testing from 9 a.m. to 2:40 p.m. Yes, there is an hour break, but like that fucking helps. To make things worse, the morning tests are BOTH of the essay tests. In the afternoon, they take the math tests. Yes. So, by the time my kids take the math test, they will probably be tired and burned out It's a lot of testing, especially when you're failing.

The only good thing about this is that for the rest of the year, we can just focus on LEARNING and meeting our mastery goals. I want these kids to be ready for high school. They have such big goals...but how are they supposed to achieve them without knowing basic math? If only I could find a good way to convey this to them and invest them in our math class better.



I really hate feeling incompetent. Every single day, I feel like I am grasping for something that is always out of reach. There are good moments, good class periods, even good days, but they are becoming rarer. And now I've started my own classes.

On the plus side, my 8th graders loved my new shoes today. I was very raw, apparently. I assume that is good.
Also, Michael Jordan is one of my favorite motivational speakers/philosophers.

Because I don't have enough things to do

I have decided I am going to start a blog about teaching simply because I don't want to forget about all the ridiclulous/crazy/sad/funny things that happen in the course of a day.

Which I have already done.


But.

I had a student threaten to shoot another student in my class. Since she had been throwing up gang signs all week, I took it pretty seriously and assumed the administration would feel the same way I did (that she should be kicked out of the school). Oh, but no. I was told that "She is 15 [and in 7th grade] and we are just trying to get her out of here." She is not getting so much as a suspension. So, I am going to call up the parents of the student that was threatened and try to (very indirectly) encourage them to call the administration and complain.

Also, A. (our big basketball star) asked me in the middle of a lesson on slope, if I had a boyfriend. I told her I would not answer that question, particularly in the middle of a lesson. So she says, "Ok, sorry, Ms. E....just blink once if you have a boyfriend, blink twice if you don't." So I gave her a long stare, and then looked away and happened to blink. She took that to mean an affirmative and has decided she found out a secret.

After school, R. tricked me and said, "Ms. E., what's that?" and I totally turned and looked. In the meantime, she took J. and punched him. J said, "Aw, Ms. E., how could you fall for that?" So I held R. in a headlock for about ten minutes.

I also jumped into a basketball game the boys were playing during an extra gym time that I gave them, and (after kicking off my heels), I successfully blocked and stole the ball from E., one of the brash young men in my class. The other guys did not let him live it down all day.

On Friday, I had them do a silly either/or as a Do Now. Some of the responses were pretty funny:
Chicago Bulls or Indiana Pacers:
"Chicago Bulls, because the Indiana Pacers suck!"
"Chicago Bulls--I like the strategies."
"I like the Chicago Bulls because they play very good and very raw."
"Neither--I dont really like that sport but I kinda do."
"Chicago Bulls. Duh, Chicago."

Cookies or Ice cream:
"Ice cream is healthier"
"Ice cream-because it taste good. And cookies are reallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly good."
"Ice cream because I am very hungry right now."
"Cookies because their not cold."
"Both. You can't have one without the other."

Bears or Colts:
"Colts--they are a beast."
"Colts-they beat the bears and I got money."

Math or Reading:
"Math, your learn more." [clearly]
"Reading cuz you don't have to add up all these #."
"Reading-because it helps you imagine."
"Math because it appeals to my logical side."
"Math-I like math because I will need it all my life."
"Math, it's really challenging."

Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall:
"Spring, its warm, but not stiffling hot or popsicle cold."
"Winter, no bugs!"
"Fall because its other name is Autumn and that's when I was born."
"Fall--The smells, thanksgiving, halloween."

Going to bed early or late:
"Late because I be doing things."
"Late, the best things happen."
"Late cause it's lame to go to bed early."
"At the time I am supposed: I am responsible."
"Late, who likes going to bed early?"
"Early because you become more aware of anything."